This is a Party Political Broadcast on behalf of the ABC Party.
I used to be pretty moderate in my political views. At least, that was my excuse for not being interested in politics. I have to say, that has changed over the years, either due to age or due to diminishing levels of interest in much else. I suppose everything is relative.
Over the last few years I have realised that certain things have begun to irritate me intensely, and no-one seems to be working on my behalf to protect me from those things that blight my life.
BROCCOLI!
WHAT IS ITS PURPOSE? WHY IS IT HERE? WHAT DOES IT OFFER? WHAT CAN IT DO THAT NOTHING ELSE CAN?
I apologise for shouting, but I cannot see any reason for Broccoli. In fact, I would go so far as to say that producers of Broccoli should be arrested and questioned at length as to “Why?”. Waterboarding is too kind for these people!
And, if I am going to have a go at Broccoli, what about Aubergines and Courgettes? (Hence ABC, you clever people).
Have Aubergines, Broccoli or Courgettes ever won a war? Have they ever stood for Parliament or won a Nobel Peace Prize? Have they ever invented anything of note? Have they ever had a song written about them? Which one of them has played for England? Do they even produce a good fart?
NO, NO and THRICE NO!
We need to make a stand against these insidious, invidious invaders before they take over. Aubergines originate on the Indian sub continent, Courgette sounds French (and probably is) and Broccoli is an Italica, which speaks for itself (or not, Broccoli is pretty dumb). They hide behind names like ‘Breadfruit’, ‘Zuchini’ and, well, Broccoli (not much of a disguise which reveals its inherent arrogance).
What of the good old Turnip, the Parsnip or Carrot? Vegetables with pedigree, not mamby pamby pretenders.
An Ague on your Aubergines! A Blight on your Broccoli! Corruption on your Courgettes! People of Britain stand up and join me! Sing “God Save Our Gracious Bean ………..”
As for people who put ice in Cider ………………………
Pauls Writing 